READ THIS BOOK

I read a lot of books, seriously a lot. I get great pleasure from mysteries, thrillers, biographies, romantic novels, you name it. Occasionally I find a real treasure. This book is one of those.

An easy read, the book is written in first person, namely the dog! It follows this doggy soul through four lives as this canine tries to figure out its purpose in life.

Anyone who has loved and lost a special dog in their life will cheer for our hero. I won't go into details because you need to read this book for yourself. I promise that you won't regret it!

A GIFT

A gift is something that is freely given to enhance or improve the life of another. Although we tend to think of gifts in terms of objects, you can also give the gift of time, knowledge or attention.

I try to keep myself aware of the gifts that are given to me and to thank the giver whenever possible. I have learned that the joy of giving lies in seeing that the receiver has benefitted from the gift that was given. Each small act of kindness that comes my way is a gift to me. I am grateful for all of them.

A friendly ear, a cheerful greeting, a cup of coffee in the morning mean more to me than things. They show me that I am cared for. I aim to reciprocate these acts with the things that I do. I get a tremendous amount of pleasure in cooking for others and seeing the pleasure on someone's face when I have made something particularly tasty. When someone spends $1.26 and I take the penny from the change drawer so that they can have quarters back, it is a small thing but it is also a gift.

Although these may all seem like small things, they make life easier and better and are given with that in mind. If something is given as the result of a demand or expectation, it is not a gift, it is ransom for approval. The joy of giving is taken away and resentment takes its place.

I think it is far better to allow others to choose to give, express gratitude for the gift and allow them the joy that comes with giving. It is not wrong to express what you need, to share what makes you happy but to expect those things from another places a burden on them to provide. You deny them the joy of giving freely. Express yourself and let it go. Be grateful whenever gifts come your way no matter how small and you'll be amazed at the kindness and generosity of those around you that you may not have been aware of before.

HOLIDAY COOKING

I love finding new recipes for old world cooking. The holidays seem an especially good excuse to exercise new skills.
Christmas Eve offered a dinner of homemade pierogis smothered in butter and caramelized onions.

Filled with cheddar mashed potatoes they were fairly easy but had their own complications. The beater sure didn't like the potato mixture.

For Christmas I got a little braver, attempting Slovak Nut Rolls.

If the dough had raised better, I think they would be better. Still, the dough is quite tasty. Someday I will conquer yeast!

Being a roll-up, the walnut topping/filling was chunkier than it ought to have been but that is an easy correction for the future.

All in all, a delicious weekend!

RECHARGE

Our true contentment and happiness depends on our connection with our spirit. I have been running on empty in that regard for awhile and needed to be reminded of that.

My battery has been low and I had fallen into the habit of allowing someone other than myself and my spirit (God) be the energy source of my life. When I deny my true self in deference to another I am also denying my spirit. The consequences of this is an automatic shut down. I needed to reconnect to the source to refill my battery.

When you find yourself in this position it is easy to be angry or frustrated with battery you were using (another person) but the reality is that you are angry with yourself. You feel the guilt of your denial of spirit and lose the natural connection with the source of true energy and love. Instead of joy you feel pain, instead of love you feel resentment. It is difficult to accept responsibility for how you react to those who would try to control or coerce or otherwise manipulate you. In the end, you cannot blame them for your misery. No one can disconnect you from your self unless you allow them to.

Acceptance is not found in outside sources. It is only truly found within.

Searching outside for your self worth is like roaming. It runs down the battery very quickly. I am glad to have recharged my battery and the message of how to do it.

If I stay close to the source of my energy, I can avoid the 'roaming' and charge my self more often. Perhaps I can avoid the battery empty as well.

WRITE SOMETHING

AMAZING GRACE

How this happens, I don't know.

The aftermath of a storm can be a thing of beauty!

THE P-A PERSONALITY

A friend of mine recently posted about her encounter with a passive-aggressive personality. She commented on how such a person can make a seemingly pleasant conversation leave you feeling 'icky'.
I can feel confidant in speaking on this subject. As a PA person myself (a trait I have tried hard to overcome), I can say that the perpetrator is usually unaware of  the fact that they are passive-aggressive. The PA feels as if they've been hurt or slighted by the person on the receiving end of their behavior. They also believe (usually mistakenly) that the other person is perfectly aware of the harm they have done them.
As a non-confrontational person, the PA avoids starting an argument and won't tell their receiver there is something wrong. Hence the 'passive' part of the term.
Instead, they act out on their pain or anger by altering their behavior towards the person they are upset with or by using barbed or snide comments. This is the 'aggressive' side of the coin.
They honestly believe that the offending party should apologize or act differently without ever telling them what the problem actually is. In this way, their offender is forced to become the confronter or starter of whatever argument is necessary to clear the air.
If their offender is also PA prone the consequences to the relationship are deadly. The target of the behavior cannot confront or risk argument and silently tries to work out how to appease the PA. Since the original offense is never brought into the open where it can be rationally discussed, it is never resolved.
I have lost many good relationships to the passive-aggressive syndrome; my own as well as others. That is why I will continue my struggle to break free of my fear that an argument is the end of a relationship. Sometimes a disagreement that is discussed and resolved can actually strengthen the connection between people who care enough for each other to see it through the hard times.
Relationships with family, friends, or coworkers are hard. They require work sometimes. However, a life without relationships is no life at all.

EXPECT AND ACCEPT THE IMPERFECT

I was remembering a conversation with a former coworker. She was in the process of remodeling her home and was telling me about installing a wall to wall cream colored deep plush carpet. As she spoke I had images of plastic runners and plastic on the furniture to maintain her perfect room that was beginning to sound like something out of a magazine.

My first thought was that I couldn't live in such a house. I go home to relax, not to worry that I might spill something, drop something, or break something.

I recall many such rooms. I cleaned them for other people. At the end of the day I felt as if I was coming home to a shack by comparison.

Such was my 'all or nothing' thinking at the time.

I now know that my home is perfectly imperfect. There's dust. There's clutter. I can't even tell you how many times I've cleared off the kitchen table only to have 'stuff' reaccumulate. What good is a table if it just sits there with nothing on it?

I can clean and declutter but it always comes back. That's because it is a home that gets lived in. Imperfect, but that's how I like it.

I'd carried that 'all or nothing' attitude towards people too. I would put people on a pedestal and find it unbearable when their flaws became apparent. It was devastating to relationships.

I've come to realize that no one is perfect and that I wouldn't want them to be. I would always feel 'less than' and uncomfortable in the presence of a perfect person.

I've learned to temper my reactions when I feel let down by someone.

When you hear a person whose honesty you respect lie to someone else, do you suddenly consider them untrustworthy or do you accept that for whatever reason, they considered it necessary?

When the kindest, most generous person you have ever met says or does something mean, does that make them suddenly an awful person? Perhaps they had good reason to react that way or were simply having a bad day.

Certainly there are untrustworthy awful people out there, but most people, especially those you care about, are simply imperfect humans, just like ourselves. That is why you can feel comfortable with them.

Sometimes I have to step back a moment and remind myself to let people be who they are.

SHEEP TO SHIRT

I love to crochet. It is something my mother taught me and I've gained skill and confidence over the years. I like a challenging pattern and have even made a few of my own.
One of the things that amazes me is how with just a hook and yarn I can make fabric which becomes wearable art or a stuffed animal.
I am indebted to those amazing people who discovered that the wool from an animal could be turned into threads and yarns. The ingenuity to develop a piece of equipment to do this astounds me.

If I had the patience, I would love to learn how to take this to the next level, in other words, how to use a loom.

Now we're talking textiles! The intricate patterns that skill, patience, and imagination allows. Again, whoever figured out how to build that piece of equipment that this woman is using was pure genius.

Such are my thoughts when I sit down with my skeins of yarn and assortment of hooks. It's easy to appreciate all that went into every item made of fabric, the silks, cottons, wools...all made from natural sources, the ingenuity, creativity and skill that each represents.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS OR MERRY CHRISTMAS?

Another year and another round of people complaining about the use of the term 'Happy Holidays'.
When I greet family this December, I say Merry Christmas. When I greet friends of the Jewish faith, I say Happy Hanukah. When I am at work or greeting someone that I don't know, I say Happy Holidays.

My family reached these shores in search of religious freedom. Imagine leaving all that you've known, the people you love to face an uncertain future in a land that you have never been to. In their time, even arriving here wasn't certain. Three months on the ocean in a crowded ship with the obvious dangers of the sea as well as dysentery and starvation. Not all the travelers made it and were cast over the side, buried at sea. Of the brothers and their families that made the journey, the survivors had to experience this most inglorious loss of at least one of their loved ones on their way to their new home.

On one side of my family the year was 1760, on the other it was 1742. They were Lutherans.

Jump ahead to the 2000's. I am working in a store alongside a doctor who is grateful to be working as a clerk in the United States. He was unable to work at all in his homeland because religious discrimination is a perfectly acceptable practice there. It seemed to me that he was always fasting or engaged in some sort of religious practice. I asked him about it once. His response, "I fast because it is to remind me to be grateful for what I have and to allow me to experience what those who don't have experience so that I might be more generous to others."

That is such a wonderful explanation. I wonder how many of us know why we don't eat meat on Fridays during Lent or engage in other behaviors other than that they are dictated by our church.

I am incredibly grateful to my ancestors who came here and who fought to help create these United States. For 240 years my family has enjoyed the freedoms that our country offers. That's a lot of wars, a lot of presidents, a lot of change, and yet I can experience my holidays without fear. Not so my doctor friend in the land of his birth.

You see, he is a Coptic Christian. He grew up in a church that still reads the Bible in its original language. A church that is today facing extreme danger in Egypt.

I do not say Happy Holidays because I am afraid that I'll offend someone. I am not trying to take the Christ out of Christmas. I am showing respect for my ancestors and for the ideals that this country was founded on. Also, I truly wish for the happiness and peace for all peoples without regard to which holiday they observe.

Happy Holidays to all!!!

NO FEAR, NO HATE

I awoke this morning with the intention of writing several posts that have been running through my mind lately. My internet service has been iffy lately and I've had to wait until I had both time and ability to post. I had entire passages regarding the removal of God from schools (not possible if God is in the heart), the hatred I've encountered towards our current president and the democratic candidate not because of their policies or anything they have done or not done which is specific and I can respect but because he is black and she is female which is general and indicates racism and sexism which I cannot fathom. Before I could begin, however, God spoke to my heart. I'm thankful now for the intermittent internet. I was reminded that people hate what they fear. My own hatred of intolerance showed me that I feared intolerance, or more specifically, my fear of the violence that intolerance leads to. The Psalms

23

The LORD Is My Shepherd
A Psalm of David.
1	The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2	He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:          he leadeth me beside the still waters. Rev. 7.17
3	He restoreth my soul:          he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4	Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,          I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5	Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:          thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6	Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:          and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

It is not my job, nor is it in my capacity, to change the world or the views of those that live in it. There will always be violence in the world and the day may come when that violence costs me my life, but life is only temporary. My soul is eternal and no man can take my soul. I have no reason to fear. All things work to the glory of God.

SHATTERED REFLECTION

When I was thirty years old I came to realize that my drinking was destroying me and my life. I found a twelve step program and began my journey towards wellness.
At first I thought, twelve steps, twelve weeks. Boy was I wrong.
I heard within those rooms that a person stops maturing at the age they began drinking. "Impossible," I thought. I had begun at twelve. Here I was with preteen kids, a job, a home, responsibilities. I must have matured somewhere along the line.
Although my 'steps' took longer than I expected, I pushed on. I did the best that I could when I took my moral inventory. I searched my self and took responsibility for my actions.

Recently I read book titled 'Thirteen Reasons Why'. I suddenly found myself thrust back to those earlier years. I could certainly remember my thirteen reasons why! Oh yes! I was a very angry, hurt, lonely girl in those days.

As I examined the girl that was, my reflection shattered. I was not the victim after all. I was the bully, the brat, the budding sociopath. Such are the illusions of youth. Today, with age and experience, and also the courage and willingness to honestly accept the faults that I find, I release the burdens that I have carried along with me all of these years.

Continuing to incorporate the twelve steps into my life has given me the tools that I once lacked to grow and mature and become the person that I want to be.

I truly believe that the most valuable of these tools is the ability to refrain from blaming outside forces for who and what I think, feel and do. The quality that I respect most in a person is integrity, which to me is when who they are on the outside matches who they are on the inside. That is truly beautiful!

FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD

My favorite part of Halloween is the candy and the costumes.

The second best part of the season is The Wizard of OZ. What a wonderful story of characters searching for what they already unknowingly possess. 'Oz never gave nothing to the Tin Man, that he didn't already have.'

I am especially fond of Oz related humor.

Have a safe and happy Halloween!!

NATURE: STRONG AND RESILIENT

I love to see how resilient nature is. There is a lot of conversation about the negative effects man has had and is still having on the environment. I agree that we should tread lightly upon this planet that we call home but it thrills me to see that there is life after man.

We build our structures.

But nature is determined to reclaim her own.

FLAMING FOLIAGE FESTIVITIES

Flaming Foliage Festival in Renovo PA is one of my favorites. Still a small town parade, there is just something about the atmosphere that I really enjoy. Plenty of vendors, an hour long parade, including a drum and bugle corps from Leroy, NY...there is just something special about this event at this time of year.

Even with this tractor trailer attempting to sneak down the alleyway and getting stuck on the parade route (several cars had to be moved) the parade began on time. I even remembered to bring a bag to collect candy in.

I absolutely love to hear the bagpipes!

Even the ride home is a part of the experience.

You can see the height of the overlook at Hyner View from the road. You can stop for ice cream at the Back Porch and enjoy the artwork there.

Although our leaves haven't reached peak yet, it was a wonderful way to spend a Saturday. And perhaps next weekend we can enjoy all of the fall colors as autumn displays its full glory.

A STRANGE EGG

Our most generous neighbor sometimes has us gather eggs for her. Two days nets us a dozen fresh brown eggs, enough for an entire week and we are grateful.
We recently had that opportunity again. I wash them off before I put them in the refrigerator. I noticed one very unusual egg.

One of these eggs is not like the others. I asked, "Did you notice anything odd about this egg?"

"It was the only white egg in that coop," was the reply.

"It also happens to be hollow," I said.

I examined it more closely, looking for a hole or some clue as to how it came to be an empty egg. I did spot an unusual line on it.

Wait a minute! Oh good grief!

It's plastic! Now there's a mystery. What have those chickens been up to? Hmmm.

WALNUTS

I like walnuts, seriously. It takes a lot of crushed walnuts to make baklava which is one of my favorite deserts to make. I also like the memories of holiday nut mixes and using a nutcracker to get the goodies inside. The walnuts required the pick as well.
However, I also hate walnuts.

These things are everywhere. Our driveway, our road are both lined with walnut trees. They are a hazard on the motorcycle and stain the roadway black where they've been run over. Just walking through the yard the odds of stepping on one of these hard round balls are pretty darn high. The rotting shells are a danger to dogs and the nuts inside attract squirrels which drives the dog crazy!

Soon, the leaves will all change, leading into the winter snow and the walnuts will be forgotten for another year, but for the moment, we have WALNUTS!!!

ONCE A SCHOOLGIRL

From Thirteen Reasons Why

I will return shortly but first my inner child needs some attention.

Later friends.

THE EYES HAVE IT

The eyes are the windows to the soul.
You can tell a poisonous snake from a nonvenomous one by the eyes.

Of course, if I see a snake I'm not going to stick around to try to see its eyes.
Dogs speak with their eyes too.

I admit that Huskies tend to intimidate me because I have a hard time reading their eyes. I don't have that problem with most breeds.

Parents can interpret their child's mood by looking into their eyes as well.

Making eye contact is a basic human need. It allows us to experience one another on a spiritual level. In the modern world, we seem to have lost this skill. I work as a clerk and many customers never see me, they are focused on their texting. After a long day, I'm not sure I see them either, focusing on product, bag and money.
Sometimes we choose to look away. When there is a homeless person sitting beside a building, do we make eye contact or do we avert our eyes? Children are much more inclined to simply see people as people. They will make eye contact when their parents won't.
When someone looks at you, it validates your existence. We all need that validation.

Avoiding one another is at best uncomfortable. Sometimes, it feels threatening.

I believe that many of the problems we face today could be eased, if not erased, by no longer hiding ourselves from one another.

When we see the souls behind the eyes, we see each other as human beings with lives that matter.

There is a word, a wonderful word. Namaste. It means that the God in me celebrates the God in you.

After all, isn't that the purpose of our time on this plane? Isn't that why we are here? How can we expect to fulfill our purpose if we refuse to connect with others? As you go through your day, take the time to be aware of others. Do they see you? Do you see them? Observe interactions between others. Who seems happier? Who seems lonely? Find opportunities to experience Namaste!