READ THIS BOOK

I read a lot of books, seriously a lot. I get great pleasure from mysteries, thrillers, biographies, romantic novels, you name it. Occasionally I find a real treasure. This book is one of those.

An easy read, the book is written in first person, namely the dog! It follows this doggy soul through four lives as this canine tries to figure out its purpose in life.

Anyone who has loved and lost a special dog in their life will cheer for our hero. I won't go into details because you need to read this book for yourself. I promise that you won't regret it!

A GIFT

A gift is something that is freely given to enhance or improve the life of another. Although we tend to think of gifts in terms of objects, you can also give the gift of time, knowledge or attention.

I try to keep myself aware of the gifts that are given to me and to thank the giver whenever possible. I have learned that the joy of giving lies in seeing that the receiver has benefitted from the gift that was given. Each small act of kindness that comes my way is a gift to me. I am grateful for all of them.

A friendly ear, a cheerful greeting, a cup of coffee in the morning mean more to me than things. They show me that I am cared for. I aim to reciprocate these acts with the things that I do. I get a tremendous amount of pleasure in cooking for others and seeing the pleasure on someone's face when I have made something particularly tasty. When someone spends $1.26 and I take the penny from the change drawer so that they can have quarters back, it is a small thing but it is also a gift.

Although these may all seem like small things, they make life easier and better and are given with that in mind. If something is given as the result of a demand or expectation, it is not a gift, it is ransom for approval. The joy of giving is taken away and resentment takes its place.

I think it is far better to allow others to choose to give, express gratitude for the gift and allow them the joy that comes with giving. It is not wrong to express what you need, to share what makes you happy but to expect those things from another places a burden on them to provide. You deny them the joy of giving freely. Express yourself and let it go. Be grateful whenever gifts come your way no matter how small and you'll be amazed at the kindness and generosity of those around you that you may not have been aware of before.

HOLIDAY COOKING

I love finding new recipes for old world cooking. The holidays seem an especially good excuse to exercise new skills.
Christmas Eve offered a dinner of homemade pierogis smothered in butter and caramelized onions.

Filled with cheddar mashed potatoes they were fairly easy but had their own complications. The beater sure didn't like the potato mixture.

For Christmas I got a little braver, attempting Slovak Nut Rolls.

If the dough had raised better, I think they would be better. Still, the dough is quite tasty. Someday I will conquer yeast!

Being a roll-up, the walnut topping/filling was chunkier than it ought to have been but that is an easy correction for the future.

All in all, a delicious weekend!

RECHARGE

Our true contentment and happiness depends on our connection with our spirit. I have been running on empty in that regard for awhile and needed to be reminded of that.

My battery has been low and I had fallen into the habit of allowing someone other than myself and my spirit (God) be the energy source of my life. When I deny my true self in deference to another I am also denying my spirit. The consequences of this is an automatic shut down. I needed to reconnect to the source to refill my battery.

When you find yourself in this position it is easy to be angry or frustrated with battery you were using (another person) but the reality is that you are angry with yourself. You feel the guilt of your denial of spirit and lose the natural connection with the source of true energy and love. Instead of joy you feel pain, instead of love you feel resentment. It is difficult to accept responsibility for how you react to those who would try to control or coerce or otherwise manipulate you. In the end, you cannot blame them for your misery. No one can disconnect you from your self unless you allow them to.

Acceptance is not found in outside sources. It is only truly found within.

Searching outside for your self worth is like roaming. It runs down the battery very quickly. I am glad to have recharged my battery and the message of how to do it.

If I stay close to the source of my energy, I can avoid the 'roaming' and charge my self more often. Perhaps I can avoid the battery empty as well.

WRITE SOMETHING

AMAZING GRACE

How this happens, I don't know.

The aftermath of a storm can be a thing of beauty!

THE P-A PERSONALITY

A friend of mine recently posted about her encounter with a passive-aggressive personality. She commented on how such a person can make a seemingly pleasant conversation leave you feeling 'icky'.
I can feel confidant in speaking on this subject. As a PA person myself (a trait I have tried hard to overcome), I can say that the perpetrator is usually unaware of  the fact that they are passive-aggressive. The PA feels as if they've been hurt or slighted by the person on the receiving end of their behavior. They also believe (usually mistakenly) that the other person is perfectly aware of the harm they have done them.
As a non-confrontational person, the PA avoids starting an argument and won't tell their receiver there is something wrong. Hence the 'passive' part of the term.
Instead, they act out on their pain or anger by altering their behavior towards the person they are upset with or by using barbed or snide comments. This is the 'aggressive' side of the coin.
They honestly believe that the offending party should apologize or act differently without ever telling them what the problem actually is. In this way, their offender is forced to become the confronter or starter of whatever argument is necessary to clear the air.
If their offender is also PA prone the consequences to the relationship are deadly. The target of the behavior cannot confront or risk argument and silently tries to work out how to appease the PA. Since the original offense is never brought into the open where it can be rationally discussed, it is never resolved.
I have lost many good relationships to the passive-aggressive syndrome; my own as well as others. That is why I will continue my struggle to break free of my fear that an argument is the end of a relationship. Sometimes a disagreement that is discussed and resolved can actually strengthen the connection between people who care enough for each other to see it through the hard times.
Relationships with family, friends, or coworkers are hard. They require work sometimes. However, a life without relationships is no life at all.

EXPECT AND ACCEPT THE IMPERFECT

I was remembering a conversation with a former coworker. She was in the process of remodeling her home and was telling me about installing a wall to wall cream colored deep plush carpet. As she spoke I had images of plastic runners and plastic on the furniture to maintain her perfect room that was beginning to sound like something out of a magazine.

My first thought was that I couldn't live in such a house. I go home to relax, not to worry that I might spill something, drop something, or break something.

I recall many such rooms. I cleaned them for other people. At the end of the day I felt as if I was coming home to a shack by comparison.

Such was my 'all or nothing' thinking at the time.

I now know that my home is perfectly imperfect. There's dust. There's clutter. I can't even tell you how many times I've cleared off the kitchen table only to have 'stuff' reaccumulate. What good is a table if it just sits there with nothing on it?

I can clean and declutter but it always comes back. That's because it is a home that gets lived in. Imperfect, but that's how I like it.

I'd carried that 'all or nothing' attitude towards people too. I would put people on a pedestal and find it unbearable when their flaws became apparent. It was devastating to relationships.

I've come to realize that no one is perfect and that I wouldn't want them to be. I would always feel 'less than' and uncomfortable in the presence of a perfect person.

I've learned to temper my reactions when I feel let down by someone.

When you hear a person whose honesty you respect lie to someone else, do you suddenly consider them untrustworthy or do you accept that for whatever reason, they considered it necessary?

When the kindest, most generous person you have ever met says or does something mean, does that make them suddenly an awful person? Perhaps they had good reason to react that way or were simply having a bad day.

Certainly there are untrustworthy awful people out there, but most people, especially those you care about, are simply imperfect humans, just like ourselves. That is why you can feel comfortable with them.

Sometimes I have to step back a moment and remind myself to let people be who they are.