PANDORA'S BOX

Back in February it was easy. I could watch the news and feel confidant in my decisions. I followed the events in Italy closely because we seemed to be about two weeks behind them. I decided to clear my debts, make sure that my pantry and freezer had enough to keep us fed for two to three weeks. I prepared for the inevitable shelter in place. I was ready. 
I waited for our President to make the announcement. It never came. Eventually the governors finally did the job. It fell to them to prepare, to procure what was necessary to keep their citizens safe while we learned what this disease was, how to treat it most effectively, how quickly it could spread, what the mortality rate might be. No one had seen this virus before and no one could say with any certainty what to expect.
Today we know that this disease is extremely contagious. We know that over 90% of those that get it recover. We know that those who suffer the most or die from it are predominantly elderly or have underlying conditions. We have learned a lot. Do we know everything? Certainly not.
I'm old enough to remember chickenpox. We knew then that it was a one time disease. Once you had it, you had immunity. It was much harder on adults than on children so when a kid came down with it, there were chickenpox parties to intentionally infect the kids so we could get it over with while we were young. It wasn't deadly, we only needed to avoid aspirin so as not to get Reye's syndrome. Most children today are vaccinated against this disease but these days people of my age are getting shingles vaccines because the chickenpox we had as kids never completely left our bodies. It laid in wait for when our bodies grew older and weaker.
The point is, we rarely know what we think we know.
As a person who falls into the vulnerable population for Covid, I really would prefer to not take my chances of recovering well from this disease. Most of my friends are also vulnerable to the worst of what this disease can hand out and I certainly wouldn't want to put them at risk.
I am not old enough to retire yet so I have to go to work. When we first opened the economy, people were wearing their masks and I could feel that at least the attempt was being made and if I kept my hands clean and did my part, I stood a reasonable chance of staying safe. 
These days, few people are wearing masks and all of the hand washing in the world doesn't remove their contagions from the air. While at work I do not have the option to remove myself from the situation. Out of the hundreds of people that come through the door, it only takes one to pass this virus to me and from me to my partner.
I don't know how many of you have dogs but if you have ever travelled with one you'll be familiar with the window. Those nose prints are gross and hard to clean. That is how my plexiglass screen gets at work if we don't stay on top of it. That shows me that people put out more nastiness when they breathe than they think they do,
As I go about life outside of work, I've become more aware of the people around me. There are fewer and fewer places that I feel confident to be in. My world is slowly shrinking. 
I no longer feel capable of preparing for what may come. I watch the news and seek information from other countries to gauge what actions will be best for me and my family and get no answers. No other country is in our position. Pandora's box has already been opened and the lid lifted off.