WRITE SOMETHING

AMAZING GRACE

How this happens, I don't know.

The aftermath of a storm can be a thing of beauty!

THE P-A PERSONALITY

A friend of mine recently posted about her encounter with a passive-aggressive personality. She commented on how such a person can make a seemingly pleasant conversation leave you feeling 'icky'.
I can feel confidant in speaking on this subject. As a PA person myself (a trait I have tried hard to overcome), I can say that the perpetrator is usually unaware of  the fact that they are passive-aggressive. The PA feels as if they've been hurt or slighted by the person on the receiving end of their behavior. They also believe (usually mistakenly) that the other person is perfectly aware of the harm they have done them.
As a non-confrontational person, the PA avoids starting an argument and won't tell their receiver there is something wrong. Hence the 'passive' part of the term.
Instead, they act out on their pain or anger by altering their behavior towards the person they are upset with or by using barbed or snide comments. This is the 'aggressive' side of the coin.
They honestly believe that the offending party should apologize or act differently without ever telling them what the problem actually is. In this way, their offender is forced to become the confronter or starter of whatever argument is necessary to clear the air.
If their offender is also PA prone the consequences to the relationship are deadly. The target of the behavior cannot confront or risk argument and silently tries to work out how to appease the PA. Since the original offense is never brought into the open where it can be rationally discussed, it is never resolved.
I have lost many good relationships to the passive-aggressive syndrome; my own as well as others. That is why I will continue my struggle to break free of my fear that an argument is the end of a relationship. Sometimes a disagreement that is discussed and resolved can actually strengthen the connection between people who care enough for each other to see it through the hard times.
Relationships with family, friends, or coworkers are hard. They require work sometimes. However, a life without relationships is no life at all.

EXPECT AND ACCEPT THE IMPERFECT

I was remembering a conversation with a former coworker. She was in the process of remodeling her home and was telling me about installing a wall to wall cream colored deep plush carpet. As she spoke I had images of plastic runners and plastic on the furniture to maintain her perfect room that was beginning to sound like something out of a magazine.

My first thought was that I couldn't live in such a house. I go home to relax, not to worry that I might spill something, drop something, or break something.

I recall many such rooms. I cleaned them for other people. At the end of the day I felt as if I was coming home to a shack by comparison.

Such was my 'all or nothing' thinking at the time.

I now know that my home is perfectly imperfect. There's dust. There's clutter. I can't even tell you how many times I've cleared off the kitchen table only to have 'stuff' reaccumulate. What good is a table if it just sits there with nothing on it?

I can clean and declutter but it always comes back. That's because it is a home that gets lived in. Imperfect, but that's how I like it.

I'd carried that 'all or nothing' attitude towards people too. I would put people on a pedestal and find it unbearable when their flaws became apparent. It was devastating to relationships.

I've come to realize that no one is perfect and that I wouldn't want them to be. I would always feel 'less than' and uncomfortable in the presence of a perfect person.

I've learned to temper my reactions when I feel let down by someone.

When you hear a person whose honesty you respect lie to someone else, do you suddenly consider them untrustworthy or do you accept that for whatever reason, they considered it necessary?

When the kindest, most generous person you have ever met says or does something mean, does that make them suddenly an awful person? Perhaps they had good reason to react that way or were simply having a bad day.

Certainly there are untrustworthy awful people out there, but most people, especially those you care about, are simply imperfect humans, just like ourselves. That is why you can feel comfortable with them.

Sometimes I have to step back a moment and remind myself to let people be who they are.

SHEEP TO SHIRT

I love to crochet. It is something my mother taught me and I've gained skill and confidence over the years. I like a challenging pattern and have even made a few of my own.
One of the things that amazes me is how with just a hook and yarn I can make fabric which becomes wearable art or a stuffed animal.
I am indebted to those amazing people who discovered that the wool from an animal could be turned into threads and yarns. The ingenuity to develop a piece of equipment to do this astounds me.

If I had the patience, I would love to learn how to take this to the next level, in other words, how to use a loom.

Now we're talking textiles! The intricate patterns that skill, patience, and imagination allows. Again, whoever figured out how to build that piece of equipment that this woman is using was pure genius.

Such are my thoughts when I sit down with my skeins of yarn and assortment of hooks. It's easy to appreciate all that went into every item made of fabric, the silks, cottons, wools...all made from natural sources, the ingenuity, creativity and skill that each represents.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS OR MERRY CHRISTMAS?

Another year and another round of people complaining about the use of the term 'Happy Holidays'.
When I greet family this December, I say Merry Christmas. When I greet friends of the Jewish faith, I say Happy Hanukah. When I am at work or greeting someone that I don't know, I say Happy Holidays.

My family reached these shores in search of religious freedom. Imagine leaving all that you've known, the people you love to face an uncertain future in a land that you have never been to. In their time, even arriving here wasn't certain. Three months on the ocean in a crowded ship with the obvious dangers of the sea as well as dysentery and starvation. Not all the travelers made it and were cast over the side, buried at sea. Of the brothers and their families that made the journey, the survivors had to experience this most inglorious loss of at least one of their loved ones on their way to their new home.

On one side of my family the year was 1760, on the other it was 1742. They were Lutherans.

Jump ahead to the 2000's. I am working in a store alongside a doctor who is grateful to be working as a clerk in the United States. He was unable to work at all in his homeland because religious discrimination is a perfectly acceptable practice there. It seemed to me that he was always fasting or engaged in some sort of religious practice. I asked him about it once. His response, "I fast because it is to remind me to be grateful for what I have and to allow me to experience what those who don't have experience so that I might be more generous to others."

That is such a wonderful explanation. I wonder how many of us know why we don't eat meat on Fridays during Lent or engage in other behaviors other than that they are dictated by our church.

I am incredibly grateful to my ancestors who came here and who fought to help create these United States. For 240 years my family has enjoyed the freedoms that our country offers. That's a lot of wars, a lot of presidents, a lot of change, and yet I can experience my holidays without fear. Not so my doctor friend in the land of his birth.

You see, he is a Coptic Christian. He grew up in a church that still reads the Bible in its original language. A church that is today facing extreme danger in Egypt.

I do not say Happy Holidays because I am afraid that I'll offend someone. I am not trying to take the Christ out of Christmas. I am showing respect for my ancestors and for the ideals that this country was founded on. Also, I truly wish for the happiness and peace for all peoples without regard to which holiday they observe.

Happy Holidays to all!!!

NO FEAR, NO HATE

I awoke this morning with the intention of writing several posts that have been running through my mind lately. My internet service has been iffy lately and I've had to wait until I had both time and ability to post. I had entire passages regarding the removal of God from schools (not possible if God is in the heart), the hatred I've encountered towards our current president and the democratic candidate not because of their policies or anything they have done or not done which is specific and I can respect but because he is black and she is female which is general and indicates racism and sexism which I cannot fathom. Before I could begin, however, God spoke to my heart. I'm thankful now for the intermittent internet. I was reminded that people hate what they fear. My own hatred of intolerance showed me that I feared intolerance, or more specifically, my fear of the violence that intolerance leads to. The Psalms

23

The LORD Is My Shepherd
A Psalm of David.
1	The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2	He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:          he leadeth me beside the still waters. Rev. 7.17
3	He restoreth my soul:          he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4	Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,          I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5	Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:          thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6	Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:          and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

It is not my job, nor is it in my capacity, to change the world or the views of those that live in it. There will always be violence in the world and the day may come when that violence costs me my life, but life is only temporary. My soul is eternal and no man can take my soul. I have no reason to fear. All things work to the glory of God.